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Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - The Bond Files
The Bond Files: The Unofficial Guide to the World's Greatest Secret
Agent was compiled and written by Andy Lane and Paul Simpson and first
published in 2000 by Virgin. This is a fascinating 400 page guide to
all things James Bond from novels, films, comic strips, graphic novels,
cartoons to television, copycats and unproduced projects. The guide is
split into nine different sections with the books and films naturally
taking up most of the space. 'This book,' goes part of the
introduction. 'Is as far as we can tell, the first one to cover Bond in
all his different incarnations, the first to list the comics, the first
to mention the role-playing game and the first to go into any detail at
all on what is perhaps the only true continuation of Ian Fleming's
legacy - the newspaper comic strips. It's unique. It's definitive. It's
also not authorised, either by Gildrose or Eon Productions. That means
we don't have to be nice.' The Bond Files then begins with a timeline
that notes everything Bond related released from 1953 to 2000.
The guide to the various books is constructed so that we get a passage
on the plot and then some subjective 'Observations' about the novel
from the authors. Each analysis ends with a fun section where
categories like 'Sadism', 'Lines to Flick Past', 'Villainess Foibles'
and 'Bond's Past Life' get a line or two. The Fleming books, with their
wonderful escapism, occasional inconsistencies and sometimes eccentric
lines ('With the anger balling up inside him like cat's fur') are
nicely covered on the whole. Another nice thing about The Bond Files is
that it also discusses lesser known works like The Authorised Biography
of 007 by John Pearson and RD Mascott's The Adventures of James Bond
Junior 003½ before moving onto the continuation novels by John
Gardner and Raymond Benson. Benson is given a mild roasting at times
with his 1999 effort High Time To Kill full of 'solecisms, errors, bad
phraseology and clumsy lines'. The authors seem particularly bemused
when Benson has Bond interested in 'ballroom dancing' and 'big band
swing' in one book!

The section on the films is very readable and enjoyable for any Bond
fan. We get with each film categories like 'Tag Lines' and 'Relevance
of Pre-Title Sequence' before 'Theme Song', 'Plot', and 'Observations'.
Like the book section, each film ends with a few comments under titles
like 'Lines To Rewind For', 'Sadism', 'Single Entendres' and
'Patronising Lines'. 'James Bond Fashion Victim' includes a few
thoughts on Bond's more eccentric outfits. One thing I always find
fascinating about the Bond films are the titbits about who was
screentested and considered to play 007 in the various films and The
Bond Files is full of these details. In the guide to the films, the
authors repeat the suggestion Ian Fleming favoured David Niven or Roger
Moore to be the first ever big screen Bond and that Cary Grant and
Patrick McGoohan were approached but not interested in the role. Other
actors considered to be Bond for 1962's Dr No were Richard Burton,
George Baker, Michael Redgrave and Richard Johnson according to The
Bond Files.
When Connery left prior to On Her Majesty's Secret Service, George
Lazenby won the role but not before the producers had - we learn here -
apparently considered Batman star Adam West, future Simon Templar/Saint
Ian Ogilvy and offered the part to Roger Moore and a 25-year-old
Timothy Dalton - who declined on the grounds that he felt he was far
too young to take over from someone of Sean Connery's stature. Before
Roger Moore finally become Bond in 1972 for Live and Let Die the
producers had already considered future Sherlock Holmes actor Jeremy
Brett, Michael Billington of Gerry Anderson's UFO television series and
none other than Burt Reynolds. United Artists liked the idea of a
Hollywood star like Clint Eastwood or Steve McQueen taking over but
Cubby Broccoli felt Bond would be better served by a British
actor.

The Bond Files goes on to consider the forgettable and ho-hum nineties
James Bond Junior animated cartoon series and the various comic strips
and graphic novels. A chapter called 'Spoofs, Influences and
References' is quite good fun and touches on everything from Operation
Kid Brother starring Sean Connery's brother Neil to the Austin Powers
films. They also discuss a strange and little read 1985 Bond novel
called The Killing Zone by Jim Hatfield which provoked some debate over
whether or not it was commissioned and then suppressed or merely a work
of fan fiction. It was in fact a vanity novel privately published by
Hatfield with no permission from Gildrose - the company that owns the
literary rights to James Bond. The authors set forward various reasons
why the book should have been rumbled, including the fact that it
contained characters who were purely created for the film series and
was never published in a hardback edition.
Also fun to read about are the big plans that never actually made it to
the screen. The authors discuss how Kevin McClory originally intended
to produce an unofficial Bond film with his Thunderball rights in 1976
which would have been called Warhead. In the unused
screenplay/treatment - which McClory, Len Deighton and Sean Connery all
worked on together - for Warhead, Shrublands was a scuba-diving
training school for intelligence agents rather than a health farm and
the story would have featured robotic sharks and Blofeld threatening to
destroy New York. It was also interesting to read - and this was new to
me - that McClory's 1983 renegade Bond film Never Say Never Again was
originally intended to have a pre-credits sequence set at a medieval
pageant involving a knight with a metal-bladed tipped lance that would
have ended with with an exciting steeplechase across a car park. It was
deemed too expensive though ultimately and never filmed.
The Bond Files is a lot of fun on the whole. The book is quite chatty
in style and one you can dip in and out of at random points and always
find something interesting to read. A good little present or buy for
anyone interested in James Bond.
- Jake
c
2010
Alternative 007
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