The Joker vs James Bond 007
Ex-James Bond Fan
Batman and Joker
From character concept by
animated white dot moves in from frame-left and centres on
frame-right. Iris veins surround the dot to fill the frame. Iris
veins surround the dot to fill the frame. James Bond enters the dot
walking from right to left, the iris moving to centre-frame with him,
and as Bond turns to his left shoot the assassin, he gets shot dead.
The assassin, who turns out to be The Joker, laughs. The iris then
Camera moving towards Lower Manhattan of New York City... Over the
towers... Towards the city hall... In few seconds, the building
explodes into a giant fireball as chopper moves away from exploded
building. Screams and panics then storm the city's streets.
DAY. MI6 Building appears as the sky is overcast.
1. INT. M'S OFFICE - DAY
M is on a urgent phone call as Bond gets in to take a seat.
Very well, then. Thank you. Good night.
M hangs up the phone and turns to Bond.
There was a huge explosion at the city hall in New
York City. 50 were dead. Most of them are
government officials. Fortunately, the mayor was not
present at the attack. Some people said that
Saddam's loyalists are responsible. Some said
Al Qaeda or the Taliban. Officially, no suspects have
been reported, but we've been told that there is
evidence left by the bomber at scene on who this
man might be.
M takes a piece of the evidence, which a playing card, from a folder on her desk and gives it to
Bond. Bond looks at the card, and it said Joker.
I suppose he has a big sense of humor.
Moneypenny enters the office with information papers, and Bond gives her a stare.
I want you to find this bomber. American authorities
are going to need a big assistance in this, and they'll
need the best agent from Her Majesty's government
so you're best bet in this assignment.
Bond stands up smiling and heads to exit the office.
2. EXT. THE HIMALAYAS - MORNING
High winds blow across the mountains.
3. EXT. QUANTUM HEADQUARTERS - MORNING
Small aircrafts head towards the headquarters'
4. INT. MEETING ROOM - MORNING
big room consists of a long table with 10 military officers sitting on
two sides and an empty one on one end facing the door. The officers
are chatting as the boss, whose name is General Alvin, enters to take a
Headquarters in Northern Canada, Brazil, Australia,
and Egypt destroyed along with military personnels.
It was the British government, wasn't it?
And Bond, sir.
Alvin stands up and walk to the window.
First we eliminate Bond luring him into a trap then
the British government by destroying London with
a rocket. It's time for them to lose everything.
evil laugh echoes the room. The officers are puzzled of where the
laugh comes from. Alvin goes to his seat and pull out his handgun from
under it, ready to shoot someone who is entering the room. A man with
a clown-like face enters the room, along with his fellow group of
I would put the gun away if I were you.....General
Alvin points the gun at The Joker.
Who are you?
The Joker goes up to
My friend.....why don't you put your toy down
and we'll have a nice conversation?
Alvin puts down his weapon.
You see....I heard a lot of things about you guys,
and you seem to have bed bugs bite at your feet.
Alvin is not in the mood with The Joker.
What do you want?
Now let's back go back in time when your so-called
organization was in the top of game. You have blond
spy from merry
ole England known as James Bond or
Agent 007, who has humiliated you people with the
deaths of Le Chiffre, Dominic Greene.....you name them.
What's the agenda?
I have a suggestion. Pay me $100 million, and I'll have
this blond 007 killed. In fact, I already set trap for him
by having my men disguised as cops.......
The Joker throw down the card on the table, and it said Joker.
And I left one of these to one of them so he sent it to MI6 in
London. Once it's
there, his boss will send him to the city
doesn't sleep, the New York
City. So what do
you say? Deal.
The Joker hold out his right hand.
Alvin shakes The Joker's hand.
5. EXT. JOHN F. KENNEDY INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - DAY
A jet liner lands on a runway.
6. INT. AIRPORT TERMINAL - DAY
tries to find a man with sign that said "James Bond", and when he
finds him, the man is nothing more than a 6'5'' individual he knows, Q.
Q? I didn't expect you.
Well, you should because you're going to need it
whether your mission is assigned by M or personal.
And I thought I never going to get any toys from
Q points to the direction they're going to.
Bond gives Q a light smile.
7. INT. AIRPORT HANGAR - DAY
Bond and Q enters the hangar, and the hangar is filled with used cars and gadgets.
These are the used gadgets and vehicles of the
Q branch. Most of them were used before my
Which one of them am I going to get?
You're going to something much better than these.
And this "something" is?
Bond and Q walk to the car wrapped in a sheet.
Q (grabbing the sheet off the car)
Let me introduce to brand new BMW F02.
This isn't your average car like your previous
Aston Martin DBS. Here's the instructions.
(gives the instructions to Bond.) It tells what
to use and what not to use, depending on your
situation. And do please bring this back in
Not to worry, Q.
Oh, grow up 007.
8. EXT. NEW YORK CITY HALL - DAY
arrives at the destroyed city hall in his BMW F02. Surprisingly, his
friend Felix Leiter is at the scene. Bond then park his car at the
Felix. I suppose you here for....well, this is
your land, right?
I guess you could say that.
Bond pulls the joker card from his jacket.
M gave me this. She said someone who blow
this building left it behind.
We don't know much about this man, but some
people said he's the same guy who terrorized
Gotham City not too long ago. They call him The
The Joker. Why he calls himself that is a mystery. He
wears makeup to scare the hell of people and thinks
that killing people and blowing things up are humorous.
And he makes Timothy McVeigh look like Sunday
Sounds like a terrible comedian to me.
You could say that again. I got to tell you. He's
a one psychotic son of a bitch.
The two cops walk up to Felix and Bond.
Looks like you got visiters.
Bond.....can we have a minute?
Bond nods and walk off with the two cops to heart of the city hall.
My boss sent me here.
Of course, the NYPD is going your assistence
in solving this case, is it that right?
Bond doesn't answer.
By the way.........care for a coffee?
#2 give him a coffee. Bond drinks it then suddenly he collapsed. Cop
#2 grabs the an empty small bag from his left pocket, saying sleep
powder. He appears to feel good as his plan to put Bond sleep works.
Cop #1 then dials the phone.
Sir, we got him.
Have you attached the bomb to his vehicle yet?
THE JOKER (voice on-phone)
Now blow it up and take the spy to me at the
Statue of Liberty.
Cop #1 pulls out the detonator and pushes the red button. Bond's BMW then blows up into a gigantic fireball.
9. INT. STATUE OF LIBERTY - NIGHT
finds himself in a room inside the Statue of Liberty, tied up on the
table, and a light shines to his face. He struggles to get out. Then
out of in the dark comes of The Joker with a slight evil laugh.
THE JOKER (looks directly at Bond's cold-blooded face)
Well, well, well. If this isn't an infamous British
secret agent known as James Bond, or should I
call you Blondie? Oh....what's a matter? Is it the
scars? You want to know how I first got them? No?
OK then. You know.....I think that you and I have
many things in common. Mostly, you're just a freak....
One of Joker's suddenly tap on his shoulder then whispers to his ears.
THE JOKER (excited)
Oh!!! I almost forget. Let's show you a
wonderful Christmas gift. (shows Bond the
The Joker turns on laser machine, and it fires its laser beam on the table between Bond's legs, going straight to him.
Do you expect me to talk?
The Joker leans forward with his right hand next to his right ear, acting like he can't hear anything Bond said.
What is it, Blondie? Did you say that I expect
you to talk? Well, I don't expect anything from
you except to die a horrible death.....in HELL.
Joker unleashes his evil laugh like a maniac. As the laser beam goes
straight to Bond, he grabs a coin with his left hand from his sleeve.
He toss it straight to the laser beam, which reflected into four beams
heading four direction, cutting the bonds that tied him. Bond is now
free then uses his Omega wristwatch to shoot The Joker. As The Joker
got shot by the wire fired from Bond's watch, he is immediately
electrocuted and fells to the ground. The Joker's henchmen watch in
horror that their boss is dead then suddenly The Joker himself got back
on his own feet.
I expect that you would do that to me. You see.....
I know all about you and where you came from.
And since you're to use your watch to electrocute
me, I decided the to put on an electrocute-proof vest,
just in case. (un-buttons his shirt to show Bond a
Bond then tries to escape.
Stop him. He’s supposed to die.
was knocked out by one of The Joker's henchmen from behind as he tries
to escape. The rest of The Joker's henchmen shoot him with their M-16s
at the same time. After that, the glass ceiling got broke through by
someone none other than the Batman. Batman then immediately grabs The
Joker by the neck.
Batman....what a pleasant surprise? Care to join
my circus acts?
doors got knocked down by the NYPD. While the NYPD arrest The Joker
and his henchmen, Felix enters the room and looks in horror as he looks
at Bond's lifeless body shot by many bullets.
The screen whitens.
10. EXT. CEMETARY - DAY
including M and along those at MI6 as well as Felix, look sadly at
Bond's casket as they lost their best man in the Her majesty's Secret
ROBINSON (to M)
Now we know The Joker has ties with Quantum.