An Interview With Daniel Craig*

*One of our contributors recently sent us the details of an interview he conducted with new 007 Daniel Craig. We'll leave it for you to decide if this interview actually occurred. Here is full transcript of Luke Quantrill's interview.

Daniel Craig walks through the drawing room of the Cooper Hotel like an octopus navigating a paddling-pool. Casually dressed in a red cagoule and beret, heads turn as he makes his way to my table. They have no idea who he is but he has accidently trodden on a bread roll and smeared Loganberry Conserve over the pristine carpets. The man himself is calmness personified when he sits down and shakes my hand. No big-shot posturings for this actor. He orders a cup-a-soup and politely excuses himself for a moment. He has a call from Sean Pertwee to take. He returns ten minutes later sipping from a can of Fanta and our interview begins. Craig is chatty and polite between bites of his cheese on toast and talks openly about his career, the future and that man Bond.
Luke Quantrill: When did you first hear that you in the running to be James Bond?
Daniel Craig: I was about to start shooting a gangster film called 'What Do You Take Me For, Some  Sort Of Pilchard?' and my agent got a call from Barbara Broccoli.
Luke Quantrill: So the gangster film got scrapped?
Daniel Craig: I'm afraid so...shame really.
Luke Quantrill: Who else was involved?
Daniel Craig: Sean Pertwee...and young Owen.
Luke Quantrill: Clive?
Daniel Craig: No, Sid.
Luke Quantrill: Did you know Barbara Broccoli at all?
Daniel Craig: Know her? I had an active restraining order out on her.
Luke Quantrill: She was very persistent in her efforts to get you to do it?
Daniel Craig: That's one way of putting it.
Luke Quantrill: Did you have to test for the part?
Daniel Craig: I did but there wasn't any film in the camera. I'd already signed at that point.
Luke Quantrill: Did the others who tested for the part know that?
Daniel Craig: No...I think the Croatian bloke from ER knew there was something fishy going on. We gave him the wrong directions to the test studio and he ended up on an industrial estate in north London...probably still there (laughs).
Luke Quantrill: You've worked with some big names. What was that like?
Daniel Craig: Wonderful. I'll never forget the first thing Tom Hanks said to me.
Luke Quantrill: Which was?
Daniel Craig: Tom looked at me and in that easy languid style said 'Who are you?'.
Luke Quantrill: What would you say the Daniel Craig acting style was?
Daniel Craig: My philosophy is keep it real. If you're playing a Scotchman then you play Scotch right down the line...wear a kilt if you have to.
Luke Qauntrill: Have you ever taught an acting class?
Daniel Craig: I'm actually going to do that for BBC2 this winter. Do you remember the Michael Caine masterclass thing? I'm doing a new version of that. It was Barbara's idea. David Arnold is doing the music and we hope to shoehorn Judi Dench in there somewhere.
Luke Quantrill: A lot of people don't know this but your real name is not Daniel Craig is it?
Daniel Craig: real name is Christopher Eccleston so you can see why I had to change it  Funnily enough Christopher Eccleston's real name is Sean Pertwee and Sean Pertwee's real name is David Morrissey!
Luke Quantrill: Why did you choose the name Daniel Craig?
Daniel Craig: Daniel Craig was a music-hall comedian who was on television a lot in the sixties.  He used to dress up as a monkey and play the guitar.
Luke Quantrill: Did you ever meet him?
Daniel Craig: No. He shot himself in 1973 after coming last on New Faces.
Luke Quantrill: Now to the obvious question. How is your Bond going to be different from the  others?
Daniel Craig: He's certainly going to be shorter! (laughs) Seriously...I think this one is much more realistic. We have a scene where Bond destroys a construction site with a  bulldozer, for instance, and we really show how gritty and realistic it would actually be to try and control a bulldozer. I don't think you will ever see a runaway bulldozer scene played with such a complex grasp of the emotional ramifications of actually taking control of a bulldozer and smashing the f**k out of something...I think people will be in tears. I really do.
Luke Qauntrill: The reboot allows for some post-modern jokes?
Daniel Craig: Yes...the possibilities of paradigm-shift smugness haven't escaped us. There is a wonderful scene when I order a vodka-martini and the barman asks if want it shaken or stirred. Without missing a beat, I tell him to f**k-off. And that's the quality that Haggis brings. It is extraordinary stuff. Paul insists he wrote most of his contribution in the aeroplane toilet flying over but that is just typical of the man's wit.
Luke Quantrill: It sounds very different.
Daniel Craig: I think of it this way. If Roger Moore is a bowl of whipped cream, Daniel Craig is a rich chocolate pudding...with some nuts sprinkled on top.
Luke Quantrill: Do you worry about Bond stopping you from doing other more varied work?
Daniel Craig: It's unavoidable really. I actually had to pull out of 'The Bill' Christmas special to do Casino's one of the drawbacks.
Luke Quantrill: How many Bonds are you signed up for?
Daniel Craig: Twenty-seven.
Luke Quantrill: Twenty-seven? That sounds slightly unrealistic.
Daniel Craig: We'll see. Barbara wants to shoot the next ten back to back.
Luke Quantrill: What's next for you?
Daniel Craig: I'm going to start work on a gangster film called 'Dagenham Chav' with Sean Pertwee and Bill Treacher in the Autumn and then I'll do the next Bond.
Luke Quantrill: Would you like to direct?
Daniel Craig: I would love to. I'm writing a gangster script called 'Headcase' at the moment...I think Sean Pertwee has shown some interest.
Luke Quantrill: How do you relax offscreen?
Daniel Craig: I like funny films. The Police Academy series, things like that. I collect glove puppets too which keeps me busy.
Luke Quantrill: Daniel Craig, thank you very much.
Daniel Craig:   Thank you.
c 2006 Alternative 007