Sam Smith - Writing's On the Wall
Do you recall Another Way to Die
by Jack Wotshisface and and Alicia Keys? Of course you do. How awful
was that song? I'm the slick trigger finger for her Majesty. It was
surely mission impossible for the Bond series to come up with anything
so bad again. Step forward Sam Smith and "Writing's On the Wall" - a
song already receiving a cacophony of criticism.
I honestly don't know who Sam
Smith is. Was he on one of those moronic X-Factor things? I presume EON
just pick the artist they think is going to flog the most CDs rather
than look for a great song. Smith claims he wrote Writing's On the Wall
in twenty minutes. I think I believe him.
What does it sound like? It
sounds like Bulgaria's entry in the Eurovision Song Contest. It's
pretty bad. The generic orchestral intro is so generic you suspect it
was already on tape somewhere and added by EON to give the theme some
sort of Bond residue. Sort of like how they had to add some bars of the
007 theme to Eric Serra's GoldenEye score.
Writing's On the Wall is a
dirge. It's gloomy, low-key and tedious. You remember nothing about it
afterwards. It's supposed to be emotional and heartfelt but feels
synthetic. It's mournful, morose, mediocre.
The strangest thing about the
song is the way that Smith tries to sing half of it falsetto but
doesn't seem to have the ability to sing in a falsetto! He sounds like
a cat squeaking.
Personally, I wouldn't mind
seeing EON go for a OHMSS style instrumental next time. What a great
way that would be to introduce a new James Bond actor too. Will Daniel
Craig be back after Spectre? I have no idea but - with EON's recent
track record - I'd be willing to bet the song will be rubbish again
whoever is in the tuxedo.